this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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