i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
