no, he came in my armpit
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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