It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
