I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
