I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
