The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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