Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
