Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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