She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Randomize
