is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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