i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I skipped work to stalk him.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
