i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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