I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
