so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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