when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
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