i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
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