Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
