Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
