Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
