That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
