i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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