D3 body, D1 cock
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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