Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
