I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
