marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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