mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
