in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
