with your own penis?
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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