Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
