Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
