I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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