Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
her facebook's as public as her vagina
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
