is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
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