so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
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