I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
i out mim tonsoeep
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