I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
