I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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