is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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