in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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