Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
