Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
love makes seman taste better
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
