there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
