I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i think i have herpe
just one?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
