I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
