so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
