He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
