the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
They took my balls.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
