you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
