his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
